The Language We Use Creates Reality

We start speaking with our babies from the moment they're born. We know they don't understand what we're saying, of course, but that's beside the point. If we ask them questions, we don't expect answers. If we give them instructions, we don't expect them to follow them. If we tell them the name of something, we know there is no way it means anything to them.

We speak with them because human language is more than just communication: it's one of the primary ways we connect with one another. As a new parent in 1996, I'd not spent time with babies since my own sister was one, but my instinct was to babble and sing whenever I was with her. I knew it didn't matter what I said (or sang), only that I did. 

I couldn't wait until she could talk back. I wanted to know what she had to say even though her eyes, her hands, her feet, her wiggles and kicks and stretches, and especially her cries, told me everything she needed me to know.

She was an early talker. At three months she began regularly saying, "Papa" to me, probably because I'd developed the habit of saying "Papapapapapapapa . . ." whenever I entered to room. By five months, she was starting to form sentences. 

Back then, like most new parents, I was focused on every word that passed between us. It was like a miracle, almost as if the world was being created anew with each sentence that passed between and around us. And in a very real sense it was. The language we use creates reality.

I don't mean this as a metaphor, but as a fact. We speak the world into existence, for ourselves and those around us. A thing said one way, creates one reality; said another, it creates something altogether different. Our sentences, our questions, our tone, and our mindfulness (or lack thereof) shape the world for both ourselves and the young children with whom we spend our days.

It's too easy in the rush and crush of life to go into a kind of remote control, speaking with our fellow humans as if on automatic pilot, and, all too often, this results in creating realities we would rather not, if we were aware, be creating.

In our upcoming "summer camp" this is what we'll be talking about. It's amazing how many of our challenges as educators can be minimized and even eliminated when we turn our focus to the words we use, the sentences we say, and the questions we ask. So many of our adult habits tend to shut children down rather than open up a space in which they can think for themselves.

Language is a miracle: it is the miracle of creation. And sometimes it's the smallest of shifts in how we speak with children that make the biggest difference. 

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Who do you want to be when the children arrive? The countdown for Teacher Tom's Summer Camp is on. In this course you will learn how even seemingly small changes in how you speak with children can transform even the most challenging behaviors without the need for rewards and punishments. This is especially effective when the whole team is on board. And there's nothing like coming together with like-minded educators to get you ready for when the children arrive. To learn more and to register, click here. I hope to see you around the campfire!

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