"I'm A Fairy . . . A Real Fairy"

"I'm fairy," she told me. Then before I had a chance to respond, she added with wide open eyes, "A real fairy."

Her mother and I stood together as she flitted away. "I'm starting to think she might even believe it," her mother chuckled.

"I'm a firefighter." "I'm a gorilla." "I'm a princess." "I'm the fastest runner in the world."

We label it dramatic play, and it is. We know that young children learn about their world by attempting to embody it, so they assume the costume both figuratively and literally, in an effort to understand it from the inside-out.

One can also think of it as children telling themselves aspirational stories about themselves in the present tense. Indeed, when a child declares, "I'm a fairy" then flits away, she becomes a fairy and only a cruel adult would tell her different. We chuckle as if it's a kind of childish nonsense, but I invite my fellow adults to consider taking her at her word. When she says, "I'm a fairy," believe her.

We believe so many other stories, taking them seriously, like the ones about money or property or gender or love, so why not the story she is telling us about being a fairy?

But fairies don't exist, you might say, but you would be wrong. There is one, right there, in front of you. Just as there is a firefighter, a gorilla, a princess, or the fastest runner in the world. Your believing or not believing is your own problem. Or rather, your beliefs are part of the present tense story you are telling yourself. Your story may not include fairies. Instead it may include equally silly stories, such as the one about your inability to speak in front of an audience or being unattractive or incapable. These stories, these present tense stories, are as real as that fairy.

Children can be fairies because they have not yet learned to tell the hopeless tales that make up what we call reality, but instead understand the deeper reality that the present tense stories we tell are reality. They know that a little girl can, with the turn of a page, become a fairy, a real fairy, right now, one that flits and flies.

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"I recommend these books to everyone concerned with children and the future of humanity." ~Peter Gray, Ph.D. If you want to see what Dr. Gray is talking about you can find Teacher Tom's First Book and Teacher Tom's Second Book right here. 

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