Playing Our Way to Culture

"Octograbbers" was a Woodland Park fad for a time. To become an Octograbber, you had to have two of our playground shovels, one in each hand, which, of course, limited your ability to use your hands. If you wanted to pick something up, and that was a big part of the fad, you had to use your shovels like a pair of tongs in order to "grab" things. I have no idea where the "octo-" part came from, except to guess that it had something to do with octopuses. 

It started with a couple boys, spread to a wider group, and grew to include an ever-evolving collection of children to the point that there was daily bickering over shovels. It then ebbed and flowed, only dying out completely when the school year ended and the children scattered to their separate lives. 

Play theorists tell us that human culture is, at least in part, a product of play -- music, dance, art, fashion, and fads, but also social norms, customs, beliefs, values, and symbolic systems like language and communication. These are not instincts we are born with, but rather behaviors that we learn, which is why culture traditionally varies so much from place to place. We're likely the only preschool on earth to have played our way to a the specific cultural phenomenon of Octograbbers, but I reckon that every preschool has experienced its own unique cultural trends, for a week, a month, or a year . . . Or longer, as returning children revive certain games or themes year after year.

Culture emerges wherever humans come together, but it's not just humans.

I've written before about the resident orca pods in the Pacific Northwest that have been observed swimming with dead salmon on their heads. They were first noticed in the 1980's. The behavior seemed to then disappear for time before reemerging again recently, like a retro fad. The leading theory is that it's a form of social fad, one that is not shared by other orca pods around the world.

Bottlenose dolphins in Shark Bay, Australia carry sea sponges on their snouts as protective tools for foraging on the seafloor in order to prevent injuries from the sharp rocks and corals. This behavior is mostly found in females and is passed on by dolphin mothers to their daughters, in what researchers point to as evidence of a cultural tradition being passed along through the generations. Again, other populations of bottlenose dolphins don't engage in this specific behavior, although they likely have their own, unique cultural practices.

Cultural behaviors begin in play. Humans and marine mammals aren't the only ones. Ravens, chimpanzees, and other species have played been observed playing their way to unique manifestations of culture. We spend a lot of energy in the play based world trying to "defend" play by pointing out the "academic" learning that happens, but most of what is learned through play is cultural.

I'm currently re-reading George Eliot's Middlemarch. In some ways it's a typical Victorian novel, set in an inward-looking rural county. There are occasional references to the king and parliament and London and the wider world in general, but mostly what occupies the people is what's happening amongst themselves, their unique Middlemarch culture. This is how humans have lived for most of our existence. This is what we're evolved to attend to: our immediate world of fellow humans. The modern world, however, is increasing destroying these unique, local cultures, homogenizing it, and putting it online. Of course, there are unique, online communities, but they lack the physical proximity that characterizes the cultures of play based preschools and orca pods. This is not to dismiss the experiences of those who thought they were all alone, only to find their community online, but at the end of the day, if that doesn't ultimately lead to physical proximity, the opportunity to actually "play" together in a daily, consistent, give-and-take way, the culture that emerges, I fear, will be impoverished.

Maybe this is just an old man's perspective, but I grew during the emergence of TV and mass media in general. I still remember local newspapers and radio programs that were all about my own unique pod or county or preschool, where everyone knew one another, or at least knew someone who knew someone, but today culture is increasingly global. I think half our stress comes from the fact that we haven't evolved to attend to the whole world: we've evolved to attend to what we can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch, and that includes actual, embodied human beings with who we can create meaningful culture on a local level.

The mother of one of the core Octograbbers told me that her son was at first upset to find that his new kindergarten didn't have full sized shovels, just little spades. She told me that she knew he was going to be okay, however, when he came home a few days later talking about playing "Baby Snow Leopards." At the end of the day, creating culture together is a central aspect of how humans have evolved to connect. It gives us the sense that we belong. And it begins with play.

******

Even the most thriving play-based environments can grow stale at times. I've created this collection of my favorite free (or nearly free) resources for educators, parents, and others who work with young children. It's my gift to you! Click here to download your own copy and never run out of ideas again!

I put a lot of time and effort into this blog. If you'd like to support me please consider a small contribution to the cause. Thank you!

I Always Believe the Children

Yesterday, I responded to a jury summons, showing up at the courthouse along with 160 other potential jurors to sit and wait. I've done this before, so I knew to bring reading material.

Most people I know do whatever they can to get out of jury service. I won't say they lie, because that would be a crime, but I know they often stretch the truth in order to avoid spending a day -- or potentially many days -- performing this civic responsibility. Thomas Jefferson felt that showing up for jury duty was more important than voting. I know this because that's what the judge who welcomed us told us just before sending us to another set of chairs where we again waited.

The last time I was called I was excused because the assault and battery case was going to take place during a week I was scheduled to keynote a conference. This time I was genuinely hoping that it would work out for me. Everyone I know, including my wife, who has actually sat for a trial has told me they found it a rewarding experience, which was exactly what the presiding judge told this mass of potential jurors. (There was a lot of salesmanship in the process yesterday; a lot of praising us for showing up, and a lot of inspirational talk about how vital jury trials are to our democracy.)

I immediately knew, however, that I was going to request to be excused when we were told that this criminal trial was expected to take the entire month of March, requiring the jury's all day presence Monday-Thursdays. I just can't afford that kind of commitment. After a long, detailed description of how the county's court process works, including introducing us to the prosecuting and defense attorneys, we were told that the defendant was charged with six counts of molestation of a child under six years old.

My gut clenched.

Every eye the courtroom went to the young man in the defendant's chair. This was going to be a long, brutal month for everyone involved. 

You can't follow the news at all these days without being confronted by gut-wrenching stories about the abuse of girls and young women. It's horrifying, yet I hope it's ultimately a good thing that light is finally being shone on this hidden, rotten part of our culture. It's estimated that fewer than 10 percent of sexual abuse cases are ever even reported. I'm guessing that this percentage is much lower for abuse involving children, if only because, as a society, we tend to dismiss, ignore, excuse, and generally sideline children, especially those under six. Especially because pedophilloic abusers are so often trusted, even beloved, friends or family members. Especially because we still don't value or trust girls and women as we should.

The judge had previously cautioned us about the foundational legal principle of "innocent until proven guilty," but as I considered this defendant, his eyes fixed on the table in front of him, I felt a surge of anger and revulsion toward him. I recognized it as a cumulative feeling, one that has been building slowly for decades, then far more rapidly in recent months as many of the world's most powerful men are now credibly suspected of committing this, the most unforgivable of crimes.

I am a man who has spent much of his adult life in the company of young children. People in our profession often wonder why more young men don't choose it. We wonder if it's the low pay or low prestige, but as a man in the profession, I can tell you that this is something you have to think about every day. In my decades as an educator, I never allowed myself to be alone with a child. I know that we're all supposed to do that whatever our gender, but as a man, it's crucial. For some, the very fact that I chose this profession places me under suspicion. 

It's not pleasant, but at the same time, I understand it. The vast majority of abusers are male. I've always known that if I was going to work with young children I could never give anyone any reason for doubt. It's part of the reason I value the cooperative model: I spent my days with children and their parents, 5-12 of whom were in the room with me at any given time as a community. I never took children to the toilet or changed diapers. I kept myself on display at all times, which, of course, creates its own kind of stress. When educators complain about cameras being installed in their places of work, I understand their objections, but also, you know, welcome to my world. We fantasize about returning to the village. A key feature of a small, tightly knit community is that everyone is in your business all the time, which may feel intrusive, but it makes it much harder to get away with evil acts. That's something to consider.

Before accepting my teaching position at Woodland Park Cooperative Preschool, I sat down with my mentor, Tom Drummond, an instructor at North Seattle College. I asked him point blank, "What do I do if someone accuses me of molesting a child." His answer: "You'll have to move to Bimini." There is no coming back from an accusation, even a spurious one. So, I've lived with that on my shoulder for my entire career.

Please don't think I'm complaining. My own difficulties are nothing compared to the crimes committed by abusers. The extra scrutiny is necessary to keeping young children safe. I'm sharing this because this is what was going through my mind as I considered the criminal case before me.

I was excused from jury duty. I don't know if I would have been capable of being an impartial juror, although I suspect that my background would have made me attractive to the defense: a man who works with young children. Maybe I'd have even been acceptable to the prosecution. I mean, a preschool teacher is likely to be incredibly empathetic and compassionate toward the victim(s). Of course, my background may well have disqualified me for both sides.

There's a part of me that feels like I have betrayed the young victim(s) by not trying to be seated on that jury, despite the hardship it would have caused me. My instinct is to believe children and I had the opportunity to be their champion. But, of course, that's not the job of a juror. The job is to be impartial, to determine the facts, and to otherwise presume innocence. 

Being honest with myself this morning, I cannot presume that man's innocence, even as I know that there is a chance that he isn't guilty. I could never in good conscience be his juror because in my heart, I always believe the children.

Trust children. Nothing could be more simple, or more difficult. Difficult because to trust children we must first learn to trust ourselves, and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted.   ~John Holt

******

Even the most thriving play-based environments can grow stale at times. I've created this collection of my favorite free (or nearly free) resources for educators, parents, and others who work with young children. It's my gift to you! Click here to download your own copy and never run out of ideas again!

 

I put a lot of time and effort into this blog. If you'd like to support me please consider a small contribution to the cause. Thank you!

The Hive Mind Switch

Several years ago, while walking in downtown Seattle, I turned a corner to find a group of people looking up. I looked up too. We seemed to be looking at the rows of balconies of the Warwick Hotel. I couldn't figure out why we were looking up, so I looked again at the people with me on the sidewalk. That's when I noticed that they weren't just looking up. They were looking up, then back to the street, where an ambulance with flashing lights blocked the roadway as paramedics were preparing to lift a stretcher with a covered body into its open doors. 

We were all alternating between looking up, then at the body, but we also just as frequently looked at one another. If we didn't make eye-contact, we followed the gaze of our fellow onlooker. If we did make eye contact, we widened our eyes at one another. We pointed. We shared observations, thoughts, feelings. Together, we were assembling the story of someone who and fallen or jumped and, at the same time, we were creating a kind of impromptu community of compassion around a stranger's calamity. In that moment, none of our differences mattered as much as this exclusive club of which we had all just become members. 

Normally, we can only guess what the strangers around us are thinking or feeling, but in that moment we were thinking and feeling as one. There were no barriers between us. I suppose you could argue that this was just me, but I was there. I know that this random collection of strangers -- business executives, street people, and preschool teachers -- were there together, thinking and feeling as one.

I've had similar experiences in my life. I've been on sports teams that were capable of acting as one. I've been at concerts or political rallies in which the crowd was thinking and feeling as one.

Most often, this phenomenon comes to our attention when a "mob" goes on a rampage. We tsk and tut over human nature in these cases. We accuse "them" of being sheep, of turning off their brains, of giving in to their worst instincts, and we aren't entirely wrong. 

But just because the uplifting version of this phenomenon doesn't typically make the news, that doesn't mean it isn't real and isn't important. It happens in churches, in workplaces, in stadiums, and on street corners, every day, all the time.

The greatness of our species, the reason we have survived, even thrived, is that we have evolved to think, feel, and act collectively.

As Annie Murphy Paul writes in her book The Extended Mind, "By one year of age, a baby will reliably look in the direction of an adult’s gaze, even absent the turning of the adult’s head. Such gaze-following is made easier by the fact that people have visible whites of the eye. Humans are the only primates so outfitted, an exceptional status that has led scientists to propose the “cooperative eye hypothesis” — the theory that our eyes evolved to support cooperative social interactions . . . “Our eyes see, but they are also meant to be seen,” notes science writer Ker Than . . . We feel compelled to continuously monitor what our peers are paying attention to, and to direct our own attention to those same objects. (When the face of everyone on the street is turned skyward, we look up too.) In this way, our mental models of the world remain in sync with those of the people around us."

Paul goes on to point out,  "Membership in a group can be a potent source of motivation — if we feel a genuine sense of belonging to a group, and if our personal identity feels firmly tied to the group and its success. When these conditions are met, group membership acts as a form of intrinsic motivation: that is, our behavior becomes driven by factors internal to the task, such as the satisfaction we get from contributing to a collective effort, rather than by external rewards such as money or public recognition. And as psychologists have amply documented, intrinsic motivation is more powerful, more enduring, and more easily maintained than the extrinsic sort; it leads us to experience the work as more enjoyable, and to perform it more capably."

The place where I'm most aware of this phenomenon is during preschool "circle time." The rest of our days are about children freely choosing what they will do and with whom, but once a day, we gather together around whatever the children want to talk about. Some days, of course, it's just every child for themself, but on others the children come together on a topic or idea or challenge. 

I had one group, for instance, that got into giving one another "compliments." We had, collectively, defined compliments as anything you can say to another person to "make them feel good." At least once a week, someone would say, "Let's do compliments!" and then the group would spend twenty minutes or so taking turns giving and receiving good feelings. In practice, what this meant was children saying "I love you" to one another, then hugging. At some point we began keeping track of how many "compliments" we had given. We did this by using a set of plastic chain-links, adding a link for each compliment. This was called "the compliment chain," which we hung from the ceiling, adding to it over the course of weeks and months.

One day, the kids decided to no longer take turns, but rather leapt to their feet as one in a frenzy of hugging amidst a flurry of "I love you." Every child participated, not just for this day, but every day for weeks on end. 

"A host of laboratory experiments," writes Paul, "as well as countless instances of real-world rituals, show that it's possible to activate the group mind -- to flip the hive switch, as it were -- by "hacking" behavioral synchrony and physiological arousal. The key lies in creating a certain kind of group experience: real-time encounters in which people act and feel together in close physical proximity. Yet our schools and companies are increasingly doing just the opposite. Aided by technology, we are creating individual, asynchronous, atomized experiences for students and employees -- from personalized "playlists" of academic lessons to go-at-your-own-pace online training models. Then we wonder why our groups don't cohere, why group work is frustrating and disappointing, and why thinking with groups doesn't extend our intelligence."

It begins with "shared attention," which is what happens when we focus on the same objects or information at the same time as others, in the way that my "club" of onlookers did outside the Warwick Hotel. And that's what happens at our circle time as well. I don't come in with a plan, but rather open the floor with "What should we talk about?" A child might tell us, for instance, that their grandma is visiting, and we're off as we bond over grandparents or relatives in general or sleepovers or wherever it leads. A child might say that someone hit them earlier in the day, that they didn't like it, and we bond over that. A child might want to teach us a song or ask a question or do a silly dance. Sometimes, as I said, it leads nowhere, this is not an exact science, but often, and increasingly as a group gets to know each other, as the habit of flicking the hive mind switch develops, it happens more and more.

Of course, the "shared attention" occurs at other times as well. There was the time we all, and I mean all, watched for 15 minutes as a raccoon cautiously climbed out on a skinny branch in quest of a bird's nest, which, we all guessed, had eggs, or even baby birds in it. We all stopped to reflect together on a photograph of civil rights protesters being dispersed with fire hoses. We all race to the parking lot when the local fire station brings their engine by for us to inspect. The French philosopher, Michel Foucault saw this phenomenon in terms of power, a form he called "normalization," in which, he asserted, our souls are imprisoned by the expectations and standards of the group, but looked at from the perspective of an "extended mind" as Paul does, we can see it clearly as a form of intrinsic motivation: when we think together, we become larger and smarter than ourselves.

This human superpower emerges when we share attention, when we are all securely part of the club, when we all turn our heads to look up together. And yes, it's often abused. Charlatans and other evildoers, dictators and cult leaders, have managed to flip the hive switch toward nefarious ends. But the media only reports on the riots. The historians falsely conclude that our ancestors were savages because only their forts and weapons have survived. Our educational system fears children in groups making their own decisions because we forget that The Lord of the Flies is a work of fiction. But research demonstrates that most of the time our behavioral synchrony primes the pump for cognitive synchrony in which a group, thinking together, does so at a higher level than any one human can ever hope to achieve on their own.

Together we're a genius. Our eyes see, but they are also meant to be seen. 

I often find myself wondering how so many people, so often, can be misled by charismatic leaders. Maybe it's because we've not had the chance to practice, in school or at work, the habit of flipping the hive switch. We've been taught that competition is a virtue and that we must rely on our own minds, and only our own minds ("No looking at your neighbor's paper!"), rather than tapping into the network of minds that is the real power of human thought. We worry that the charlatans will usurp our common sense, but that can only happen to people who have not enjoyed a lifetime of coming alive together.

In many ways, this is all we do in our play-based preschools. When we set the children free we find them turning their heads together, attending together, thinking together. It doesn't always go well, of course, sometimes the hive mind buzzes into a mess, but I'm beginning to think that this might be the only way to inoculate ourselves against would be dictators. 

******

Even the most thriving play-based environments can grow stale at times. I've created this collection of my favorite free (or nearly free) resources for educators, parents, and others who work with young children. It's my gift to you! Click here to download your own copy and never run out of ideas again!

I put a lot of time and effort into this blog. If you'd like to support me please consider a small contribution to the cause. Thank you!

Indoctrinating Our Children

I recently heard an elected representative complaining that our schools need to "get back" to teaching "math, English, science, and history," and "stop indoctrinating our children."

Novelist Doris Lessing believed that every school child should be told this:

"You are in the process of being indoctrinated. We have not yet evolved a system of education that is not a system of indoctrination. We are sorry, but it is the best we can do. What you are being taught here is an amalgam of current prejudice and the choices of this particular culture. The slightest look at history will show how impermanent these must be. Those of you who are more robust and individual than others will be encouraged to leave and find ways of educating yourself -- educating your own judgements. Those that stay must remember, always, and all the time, that they are being molded and patterned to fit into the narrow and particular needs of this particular society."

I understand when a parent or politician is upset about "indoctrination." The word has come to be an epithet for whatever it is we don't want our children to know or think. But Lessing is right: it's all indoctrination.

Math might be an outlier, but English, science, and history -- especially history -- are all amalgams "of current prejudice and the choices of this particular culture." The choices made about what we will teach children are inherently selective, political, and beholden to the status quo. What we are going to teach children about, say, the Civil War, and (more importantly) what we are to leave out, means eliminating an infinite number of perspectives. The result of an institution (or any power for that matter) choosing what to "teach" is always an attempt at "indoctrination" if only because there isn't time in the day to offer every perspective on every subject. Even deciding what is foundational and what isn't is an act of indoctrination.

Humans have always been indoctrinated, even if doing it through mandatory schooling is relatively new. Every child has always been indoctrinated into the ways of their family, their village, and even their wider culture, although for most of our existence this happened via the process of life itself. Much of what was learned by children was through example. There was little need for direct instruction because they grew up in a world in which their culture was something they could see, touch, and take part in. It emerged before their eyes as their elders foraged, hunted, cooked, procreated, and played. Of course, all bets were off if they found themselves in the next culture over . . . where things were done differently . . . For better or worse.

Lessing advocates for self-education as a counter to, or bulwark against, indoctrination. I talk about play based preschool as self-directed learning. In public discussions about indoctrination, you can be sure that someone will, often in frustration, say something like, "Educate yourself. Don't just swallow what the media feeds you." Good advice, although, sadly most of what passes for educating oneself involves scrolling social media feeds until something tells you what you already believe. I'm not saying that the internet can't be a good way to educate yourself, only that social media isn't the proper medium: it's algorithms essentially silo users by selectively feeding them a perspective that more or less jibes with what they already think they know, sprinkled with "outrageous" examples of the opposite. I'm not cynical enough to think that there is some cultural mastermind intentionally trying to indoctrinate me, but it is in the nature of algorithms, created by humans, to coalesce around one status quo or another. If I'm to use the internet for self-education, I must go out of my way to find a variety of trustworthy sources, which is hard to do, but not impossible. 

Perhaps the worst way to educate yourself on the internet is to rely on so-called artificial intelligence. AI is a fantastic tool for getting certain things done, but when it comes to education it cannot help but indoctrinate us, even as it creates the cheery illusion that its responses are comprehensive. It will invariably eliminate results that don't fit the status quo, it will always round the corners, and sand down the parts that stick out . . . Unless, you know enough to ask it to do otherwise. And even then, it remains a relentless servant of current prejudices and choices. People insist that there is a future in which this isn't true, but I don't have a lot of faith in that.

Lessing's suggestion is to read literature: "People who love literature have at least part of their minds immune from indoctrination. If you read, you can learn to think for yourself." She's not entirely wrong. I say that as a devoted reader of literature. Sadly, I'm likewise aware that the gatekeepers of literature -- publishers, critics, professors, and so on -- choose what is available to me. We only know about Doris Lessing because she was one of the lucky few who were deemed worthy to have her work on the shelves of libraries.

As an educator, I don't want to indoctrinate children. I am genuinely motivated to allow them to educate themselves, even as I know that at some level I am taking part in molding them to "fit into the narrow and particular needs of a particular society." We all are.

The important thing, as Lessing cautions, is to always remember that this is what we are doing. I want the children in my life to know that I'm sorry, but this is the best I can do. And I want them to always be aware of the prejudices and choices that have created the culture in which they live. I will never tell them "Because I said so!" Doubt is healthy. Pushing back is the right thing to do. I want them to know that they should not blindly trust the status quo, especially when it doesn't serve them or those they care about. And I hope that when they find themselves at odds with society, they are capable of educating themselves in ways that help them self-actualize. 

This is why I choose play over direct instruction. At least the kids get to choose what they will learn from the culture that surrounds them, and they will know that it's always on them to become educated, not the institution or the "teacher."

To indoctrinate is human. To know we are being indoctrinated is how we set ourselves free.

******

Even the most thriving play-based environments can grow stale at times. I've created this collection of my favorite free (or nearly free) resources for educators, parents, and others who work with young children. It's my gift to you! Click here to download your own copy and never run out of ideas again!

I put a lot of time and effort into this blog. If you'd like to support me please consider a small contribution to the cause. Thank you!

Play Has No Plan or Purpose

The children who have discovered the power of saying, "Let's play!" are invariably the most popular playmates in preschool. 

Not that everyone accepts their invitations. After all, play is a self-actualizing activity, one that can really only be undertaken once the foundational levels of their Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs are met. Not every child is feeling safe or together enough to engage in play at any given moment. But those that are, know that the response to "Let's Play" is to enter into negotiations.

In our wider society, the word negotiation carries with it a connotation of butting heads, but really it's just another word for collaboration. The response to "Let's play!" is to agree upon a starting point. 

"Let's dig a hole."

"Let's go to the swings."

"Let's play princess."

From there, the game can go anywhere, one "I have an idea" at a time. In fact, that's the point of play: it's pointless and unpredictable. No one knows where it will lead and what, if anything, will be learned. And that's what motivates children, or any of us, to continue playing, this quest for novelty. The opportunity to discover and interact with something new under the sun. Some play theorists assert that one of the primary reasons that play exists at all is that it is how we prepare ourselves for dealing with the unexpected, which, after all is one of the principle features of life.

As the old Yiddish saying puts it, "Man plans and god laughs."

I was recently meeting with early childhood educators in Connecticut, a place that has persuaded state legislators to codify "play" as the primary pedagogical mechanism for leaning in preschool and kindergarten, with further support play up through elementary school. Indeed, the host organization of the event at which I was speaking, the Connecticut Education Association, has been instrumental in making the legislation happen and several of the women to whom I was speaking were key players in the effort.

But they recognize that getting the legislation passed was only a beginning. Their work, in many ways, still lies ahead of them. They told me, for instance, that some veteran teachers, in their efforts to adopt a more play-centric approach, were requiring the children to "make a plan" for their play which the teacher has to approve before allowing them to proceed. That's not play. Play doesn't have a purpose or plan. 

Those of us who are familiar with play based, or self-directed, learning understand this, but it's an alien concept to educators who have bought into the notion that children need adults to take charge of their learning. Requiring children to "plan" renders it another adult directed activity.

In a famous study, researchers showed groups of children a set of pictures of children engaged in a variety of activities. They then asked them if what they saw was "play" or not. The researchers found that the primary indicator that any given activity was play is the absence of adults. When adults were present, the children tended to label the activity, whatever it was, as "work" or "learning."

The educators of Connecticut have their work cut out for them because play is a notoriously difficult thing to define. I've read countless studies on play and rarely do any two define play in the same way. This is what makes play difficult to research. It's like love in this way. Or art. Or morality. Or even life itself. Perhaps the great truth is that the most important things are impossible to define, even if we know it when we experience it. 

In his book The Kingdom of Play, author David Toomey, draws parallels between culture and play. Neither play nor culture "enable survival or reproduction in any immediate way." Neither starts with a plan. "(T)hey cease playing only when they are injured, exhausted, or simply become interested in something else. So it is with culture. 'No work of art is ever finish,' says the aphorism. 'It is only abandoned.' . . . (T)he more open-ended a cultural practice is, the more play-like it is."

"Let's play" is an invitation to create something together. It has no plan or purpose beyond, perhaps, fun. That novelty is discovered or created, that human's are connected, that learning results, is all a happy accident. As adults, we are responsible for helping them satisfy their physiological, safety, emotional and esteem needs, but but as far as the children are concerned, self-actualization can only happen, play can only happen, when the adults are out of the picture.

*****

If you want to transform your own space into a full-capacity learning environment that gives children the freedom to self-actualize through play, please join the 2026 cohort for my course, Creating a Natural Habitat for Learning. This is a  deep dive into transforming your classroom, home, or playground into the kind of learning environment in which young children thrive; in which novelty and self-motivation stand at the center of learning. In my decades as an early childhood educator, I've found that nothing improves my teaching and the children's learning experience more than a supportive classroom, both indoors and out. This course is for educators, parents, and directors. Group discounts are available. You don't want to miss this chance to make your "third teacher" (the learning environment) the best it can be. I hope you join me! Registration closes soon. To learn more and register, click here.

I put a lot of time and effort into this blog. If you'd like to support me please consider a small contribution to the cause. Thank you!

If We are Not Focused on the Happiness and Well-Being of Children, Then What are We?

Not long ago I traveled to Vietnam to speak at an education conference that focused on happiness. I've taken part in countless education events, but this is the only time where the entire focus was on the emotional well-being of children. I'm not saying that some of the speakers at other conferences don't touch on happiness, but it's almost always in service of some adult-defined goal: test scores, behavioral management, kindergarten readiness. We talk about play, of course, but too often it's spoken of as a tool, a trick even, to get kids to achieve some measurable, adult-defined goal.

That said, I have no doubt that the people at every conference I've ever been to, both presenters and participants, love children. We are their champions, after all. We are there when the rest of the world is not. We are there for them on their best days and their worst. We lose sleep over them. We cry for them. We know them not as children, but as fully formed human beings with both rights and responsibilities. When we look into their eyes, we are profoundly moved to uplift and protect them. To paraphrase Alison Gopnick, the principle project of every civilization is to care for the children and that is what we do.

Yesterday, I made myself focus on the news. And I specifically forced myself to attend to the release of some of the FBI files related to a man who is certainly one of history's most vicious monsters. I didn't sleep last night. I saw photos of the world's most powerful men looking into the eyes of children and I can't bear to even consider what was going on in their minds. It is something beyond hatred. Even more sickening is that thousands of powerful men from government, banking, technology, the arts, and academia have either participated or known this was happening, many of them in a position to stop it, and they did nothing. Indeed, they seem to have closed class ranks.

Their excuses and apologies strike me as attempts at yet more psychopathic manipulation. It's impossible to even consider any of these men as human. I know I must, for my own humanity, but right now, I very much wish we would reclassify being a billionaire as evidence of an incurable and dangerous mental illness. I want them locked away and their hoarded billions to be used for the explicit purpose of uplifting and protecting children. And if there was any justice, it would be us, early childhood educators, in charge of its distribution. Imagine the world we could create from the depths of this hell.

I know, of course, that labeling all billionaires as evil is an act of bigotry on my part. Of course there must be some "good" billionaires, although nearly every billionaire of which I'm aware is connected to this monster, most of whom continued to remain in his circle even after he was convicted of crimes against children (then let go with a slap on the wrist). They knew. They all knew. There is nothing more insulting to our intelligence than a titan of industry or politics playing innocent.

I can't help but see this as the ugly fruit of a society that, deep down, hates children. Look how immigration authorities are treating young children, taking them from their parents, stashing them in concentration camps with armed guards as their "caretakers," feeding them garbage food, and mixing baby formula with toxic water. Look at how everything designed to "support" children is chronically underfunded. Look at how we've made our world so unsafe for children that we can't let them alone outdoors to simply play. And even on the personal level, we all know people who casually admit that they won't dine in restaurants that allow children. Try saying that about any other category of human and you'll find yourself ostracized as a bigot.

At least one billionaire, Melinda Gates, the former wife of Bill Gates (a prominent name in the FBI's files), has pledged to spend her billions to support women and children. I hope that's what happens, but the Gates Foundation has, at best, a mixed track-record. The so-called Common Core standardized school curriculum with its focus on testing and competition is a notable example of the sort of casual hatred, or at least disregard, of children that threads throughout our society. Billionaires have a very poor track record in our world. I hope that this becomes an exception that proves the rule, but I'm not holding my breath. My greatest wish is that Melinda Gates reads this post and takes it as a challenge to do better . . . And if you are reading this Melinda, I long ago issued a standing challenge to debate your former husband, anytime, anywhere, on education. In the same spirit, I will sit down with you, anytime, anywhere, to discuss what you could do with your billions to genuinely support children and their families.

I love children. You love children. When I was in Vietnam, a self-described communist nation, I was surrounded by people who love children, so much so that they held a major conference, flying people in from around the world, to discuss what we can do to promote and foster the happiness of children. I have no doubt that Vietnam also has its problems. Indeed, I know they have many, especially when it comes to children. And I'm certainly not declaring myself a communist. But everywhere I went in Hanoi -- hotels, restaurants, and on the streets -- I found myself amidst children being children. It was a notable difference from my experiences in the US.

If we are not focused on the happiness and well-being of children, then what are we? From the depths of despair, I can only hope that this becomes a turning point moment. If we cannot, as a society, learn to love our children, then all is lost. This is a moment to hold our children, to listen to them, and do everything in our power to do right by them. Let's allow them to be happy. I know you're with me.

******

If you want to transform your own space into this kind of loose parts learning environment, please join the 2026 cohort for my course, Creating a Natural Habitat for Learning. This is a  deep dive into transforming your classroom, home, or playground into the kind of learning environment in which young children thrive; in which novelty and self-motivation stand at the center of learning. In my decades as an early childhood educator, I've found that nothing improves my teaching and the children's learning experience more than a supportive classroom, both indoors and out. This course is for educators, parents, and directors. Group discounts are available. You don't want to miss this chance to make your "third teacher" (the learning environment) the best it can be. I hope you join me! To learn more and register, click here.

I put a lot of time and effort into this blog. If you'd like to support me please consider a small contribution to the cause. Thank you!

Our Greatest and Most Childish Glory

The boy was on his knees, sobbing. I don't know why, but I also did nothing because there was already someone caring for him. Two people, in fact: girls, his classmates, children who rarely played with him, but down there with him nonetheless, hands lovingly across his shoulder, on his knee, talking soothingly into his ear.

When I first started writing this blog, I did it for myself, but as people started reading and responding, as I began to see my words and ideas impact people, and especially as I began to see that the profession of early childhood education is full of people who see the world, or the prospects of a world, the way I do, I got the idea that maybe I could make a difference in how children everywhere experience childhood.

Yes, I'm a utopian. Yes, I've experienced the reformer's zeal. Call me naive, but even as I look around and see that there have been as many steps back as there have been forward, I remain convinced that a more beautiful world is possible. The news discourages me. Especially now when cruelty is being employed as a tool of public policy. But my job, the time I spend amongst the newest humans, convinces me that utopia remains possible.

In her memoir Recollections of My Non-Existence, Rebecca Solnit, writes of "that microscopic utopia that is a moment of kindness." People use the word "childish" to refer to adults who behave in petulant, self-centered ways, but these microscopic utopias are also, even mostly, what I've discovered during my decades on my knees with children. Another book by Solnit is A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities that Arise in Disaster, in which she shines a spotlight on the countless examples of temporary, but real, utopias that predictably emerge in the aftermath of earthquakes, fires, floods, and other traumatic events. While we focus on the pain and suffering, we too often miss the kindness that is our greatest and most childish glory.

This is a result of creating loving environments in our classrooms in which these moments of utopia emerge, not from teaching, not from rules, not from preaching, but because it is simply a part of how we live together. It is a central aspect of Creating a Natural Habitat for Learning (see below).

The utopias, heavens, and nirvanas of our imaginations are perfected places, impossible in a world in which our fellow humans so often find themselves on their knees, sobbing. But what I've learned from my years with children is not a destination, but rather an act of one human caring for another in their time of need. Actual utopia is created in moments of kindness.

******

Registration is open for the 2026 cohort for Creating a Natural Habitat for Learning. We cannot make utopia happen, but we can create spaces in which it emerges. This is a 6-week deep dive into transforming your classroom, home, or playground into the kind of learning environment in which young children thrive; in which novelty and self-motivation stand at the center of learning. In my decades as an early childhood educator, I've found that nothing improves my teaching and the children's learning experience more than a supportive classroom, both indoors and out. This course is for educators, parents, and directors. You don't want to miss this chance to make your "third teacher" (the learning environment) the best it can be. I hope you join me! To learn more and register, click here.

I put a lot of time and effort into this blog. If you'd like to support me please consider a small contribution to the cause. Thank you!

Transforming Our Classrooms into Natural Learning Habitats

Psychologist Kurt Lewin, often recognized as the founder of social psychology and one of the most cited psychologists of the 20th century, developed what is known as Lewin's Equation: B = ƒ(P,E), in which our behavior (B) is a function of our personality (P) in the environment (E). 

In other words, behavior is the result of the interaction between our inner selves and the outer world. It's not a difficult concept to understand, indeed, it seems self-evident, but putting it into an equation does, for me at least, crystalize and simplify an important dynamic. And it also highlights why so many of our efforts to change or influence our own behaviors, or the behaviors of others, so often fail.

Weight loss diets, for instance, often focus on transforming our relationship with food by somehow training ourselves, our personality (in the broadest sense of the word), to view food or eating in a new, healthier way and through that develop new food habits. When a child exhibits challenging behaviors such as hitting classmates, a typical response is to employ some combination of positive and negative reinforcements, sometimes in the form of rewards and punishments, in order to create new behavioral responses, or habits, to certain stimuli. These are both examples of addressing the P factor of Lewin's Equation: personality, or our inner selves.

Personality, of course, is not a fixed thing. It can and does change, but the arc of that change in humans is typically long, and to shorten it, which is what we try to do with these diets and reinforcements, is notoriously difficult. This usually requires us to call on will-power, which is to say regularly and consciously overriding the habits and instincts that cause us to behave in certain ways. It's hard enough when we're self-motivated to change ourselves, but neigh impossible when we are trying to change personality by proxy, as happens when adults are trying to modify the behavior of a child. Rewiring personality is a very difficult task for us habit-forming humans.

Usually, it's far easier to change E, the environment, which is to say changing what a person sees, hears, smells, tastes, and touches on a daily basis. Indeed, whereas change in P involves lots of time and effort, changes in E can have an almost instantaneous impact on B.

For instance, we've all known children who bounce off the walls indoors, but who drop to their knees to study motes the moment they get outside. We've all known children who become "different people" when exposed to noisy, chaotic environments versus hushed, controlled ones. We ourselves find our behaviors altered, often in dramatic ways, when we find ourselves, say, at a cocktail party or in a confined space or on the penthouse floor of a skyscraper. 

Loris Malaguzzi, the founder of the Reggio Emilia approach to early childhood learning, postulated that each child has three teachers, adults, children (including themselves), and the environment. As early childhood educators and parents of young children, we tend to focus on the role of the adult teacher. Likewise, we know that it's important for the children in our care to have relationships with other children. However, that "third teacher," E, the environment, often gets short shrift. No where is this more evident that in cookie cutter classrooms and playgrounds, out of the box spaces that force children, no matter their personalities, to conform, and this has, obviously, a significant impact on behavior, including what and how children learn. A poor learning environment can mean that the adults spend too much of their time and energy on managing behavior rather than focusing on what we should be doing, which is observing and supporting the children as they go about the business of following their own learning instinct, their curiosity, through play.

If this sounds like something you want to explore, please consider enrolling in my 6-week course, Creating a Natural Habitat for Learning, where we will be taking a deep-dive into both the theory and day-to-day practicalities of transforming our classrooms, playgrounds, and homes into environments that work with children, and ourselves, in the spirit of a "third teacher." We will be exploring both indoor and outdoor environments, as well as aspects of environment that are often neglected, with an eye toward making our spaces the kind of flexible, open-ended natural learning habitats in which all children can thrive. Not to mention freeing the adults up to be the kind of educators we've always wanted to be. I would love for you to join us!

******

If you're interested in transforming your own space into this kind of learning environment, you might want to join the 2026 cohort for my 6-week course, Creating a Natural Habitat for Learning. This is a  deep dive into transforming your classroom, home, or playground into the kind of learning environment in which young children thrive; in which novelty and self-motivation stand at the center of learning. In my decades as an early childhood educator, I've found that nothing improves my teaching and the children's learning experience more than a supportive classroom, both indoors and out. This course is for educators, parents, and directors. You don't want to miss this chance to make your "third teacher" (the learning environment) the best it can be. I hope you join me! To learn more and register, click here.

I put a lot of time and effort into this blog. If you'd like to support me please consider a small contribution to the cause. Thank you!