If We are Not Focused on the Happiness and Well-Being of Children, Then What are We?

Not long ago I traveled to Vietnam to speak at an education conference that focused on happiness. I've taken part in countless education events, but this is the only time where the entire focus was on the emotional well-being of children. I'm not saying that some of the speakers at other conferences don't touch on happiness, but it's almost always in service of some adult-defined goal: test scores, behavioral management, kindergarten readiness. We talk about play, of course, but too often it's spoken of as a tool, a trick even, to get kids to achieve some measurable, adult-defined goal.

That said, I have no doubt that the people at every conference I've ever been to, both presenters and participants, love children. We are their champions, after all. We are there when the rest of the world is not. We are there for them on their best days and their worst. We lose sleep over them. We cry for them. We know them not as children, but as fully formed human beings with both rights and responsibilities. When we look into their eyes, we are profoundly moved to uplift and protect them. To paraphrase Alison Gopnick, the principle project of every civilization is to care for the children and that is what we do.

Yesterday, I made myself focus on the news. And I specifically forced myself to attend to the release of some of the FBI files related to a man who is certainly one of history's most vicious monsters. I didn't sleep last night. I saw photos of the world's most powerful men looking into the eyes of children and I can't bear to even consider what was going on in their minds. It is something beyond hatred. Even more sickening is that thousands of powerful men from government, banking, technology, the arts, and academia have either participated or known this was happening, many of them in a position to stop it, and they did nothing. Indeed, they seem to have closed class ranks.

Their excuses and apologies strike me as attempts at yet more psychopathic manipulation. It's impossible to even consider any of these men as human. I know I must, for my own humanity, but right now, I very much wish we would reclassify being a billionaire as evidence of an incurable and dangerous mental illness. I want them locked away and their hoarded billions to be used for the explicit purpose of uplifting and protecting children. And if there was any justice, it would be us, early childhood educators, in charge of its distribution. Imagine the world we could create from the depths of this hell.

I know, of course, that labeling all billionaires as evil is an act of bigotry on my part. Of course there must be some "good" billionaires, although nearly every billionaire of which I'm aware is connected to this monster, most of whom continued to remain in his circle even after he was convicted of crimes against children (then let go with a slap on the wrist). They knew. They all knew. There is nothing more insulting to our intelligence than a titan of industry or politics playing innocent.

I can't help but see this as the ugly fruit of a society that, deep down, hates children. Look how immigration authorities are treating young children, taking them from their parents, stashing them in concentration camps with armed guards as their "caretakers," feeding them garbage food, and mixing baby formula with toxic water. Look at how everything designed to "support" children is chronically underfunded. Look at how we've made our world so unsafe for children that we can't let them alone outdoors to simply play. And even on the personal level, we all know people who casually admit that they won't dine in restaurants that allow children. Try saying that about any other category of human and you'll find yourself ostracized as a bigot.

At least one billionaire, Melinda Gates, the former wife of Bill Gates (a prominent name in the FBI's files), has pledged to spend her billions to support women and children. I hope that's what happens, but the Gates Foundation has, at best, a mixed track-record. The so-called Common Core standardized school curriculum with its focus on testing and competition is a notable example of the sort of casual hatred, or at least disregard, of children that threads throughout our society. Billionaires have a very poor track record in our world. I hope that this becomes an exception that proves the rule, but I'm not holding my breath. My greatest wish is that Melinda Gates reads this post and takes it as a challenge to do better . . . And if you are reading this Melinda, I long ago issued a standing challenge to debate your former husband, anytime, anywhere, on education. In the same spirit, I will sit down with you, anytime, anywhere, to discuss what you could do with your billions to genuinely support children and their families.

I love children. You love children. When I was in Vietnam, a self-described communist nation, I was surrounded by people who love children, so much so that they held a major conference, flying people in from around the world, to discuss what we can do to promote and foster the happiness of children. I have no doubt that Vietnam also has its problems. Indeed, I know they have many, especially when it comes to children. And I'm certainly not declaring myself a communist. But everywhere I went in Hanoi -- hotels, restaurants, and on the streets -- I found myself amidst children being children. It was a notable difference from my experiences in the US.

If we are not focused on the happiness and well-being of children, then what are we? From the depths of despair, I can only hope that this becomes a turning point moment. If we cannot, as a society, learn to love our children, then all is lost. This is a moment to hold our children, to listen to them, and do everything in our power to do right by them. Let's allow them to be happy. I know you're with me.

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