Not Instruction, But Connection

Human history is full of life-changing, species-altering innovations. Language, the wheel, the printing press, electricity, telephones, air travel, transistors, the internet: we recognize these developments as having transformed not human life on the planet, but our species itself. I imagine other species have had their breakthroughs, but I think it's safe to say that no other species has had such a direct hand in shaping its own evolution, for better or worse.

An innovation that we often don't think about is the simple wall. It's thought that walls were among the first things we constructed, with evidence of defensive walls going back to the 10th millennium BCE. Not long after that we began building multi-room structures that were presumedly used for rituals and dwelling, but those were relatively rare in human experience as most of our ancestors slept in one-room shelters, from tents to igloos to Viking longhouses. We spent most of our waking hours outdoors, of course, living our lives beyond the confines of walls and ceilings, but when we slept it was within walls that framed a room containing as many as 50 other people.

This is significant because it meant that most humans, most of the time, were within visual and auditory distance of one another. This meant that privacy wasn't really a thing, just as it isn't a thing for most pack and den animals today. This obviously became a form of social control in which the ever-present eye of "society" kept certain anti-social behaviors in check. This is probably why codes of law didn't emerge until relatively recently in human history.

John Locke, a professor of linguistics at Lehman College, asserts that the adoption of walls as a way to create privacy represents a revolutionary development that transformed our minds. "Our distant ancestors could see each other at all times, which kept them safe but also imposed a huge cognitive cost," he writes. "Walls eliminated the need to look around every few seconds to see what others were doing." This, he maintains, freed up hours and energy that could now be used by early humans to think more creative and individuated thoughts.

When parents complain that their young children, say, wait impatiently for them outside the bathroom door, it occurs to me that we are seeing the instinct of "original humans" on display. They feel unsafe when not directly connected to other humans. After all, co-sleeping is not some modern innovation, but rather a return to the practices of our earliest ancestors, one that emerged as an evolutionary strategy for survival: everyone looking out for one another.

It seems to me that it could be argued that many, if not most, of our innovations are extensions of the wall, which extended our minds, but, like with every new technology, likewise caused us to leave something, in this case a sense of safety and connection, behind.

Verbal language pushed non-verbal communication to the background, robbing us of the depth and nuance of other types of communication.

The wheel meant we could transport objects and ourselves over greater distances with less effort, while creating greater spaces between us and our communities.

The printing press removed the necessity of gathering together to listen to stories.

Electricity, telephones, air travel, transistors, and, obviously, the internet have each, in their way driven us farther apart from one another, while at the same time extending our minds, freeing us up for increasing individuality and divergent thinking. Today, for better or worse, more and more of us are spending more and more of our lives behind walls, often in our own rooms.

I have no doubt that there are smarter people than me who can counter my musings, but as I find myself worrying about the state of the world, I keep coming back to disconnection.

Mark Twain wrote, "Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction." Issac Asimov but it slightly differently, "To bring about destruction . . . there is no need to do anything. We need only do nothing except what comes naturally -- and breed."

Within each of us lingers the need to be in physical proximity with people who we know and who we trust. Psychologists and philosophers have long warned us that we moderns are suffering the effects of alienation. Despite all of our modern conveniences and innovations, and perhaps because of them, we are suffering from anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses at rates never before seen. Alarmingly, we are now seeing it manifest in children as young as two and three as the walls of innovation and technology increasingly enclose every aspect of our lives.

We aren't going to turn back the clock. We are doomed to always move forward, but our children, these "original humans" still need that sense of safety and connection unmitigated by our technologies, including walls. This is what our preschools must provide. Forget reading and math; not instruction, but connection. This is how we will prepare them for a disconnected world, by fortifying them with the security, strength, experience, and assurance that they belong. This is how we prepare them to know they must seek connection in a world of division. This is what will allow our children to thrive.

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