"You Never Change"

"Teacher Tom, you always wear the same shirt."

It wasn't entirely true, but I understood why a kid might say that. "I wear different shirts."

"No, you always wear your purple shirt."

Again, not entirely true, but I did always wear something from my by extensive Woodland Park logo t-shirt collection, and among them were three purple ones. "I do wear a lot of purple shirts."

"And you always wear the same jeans."

This was true, although I'd switch to shorts when the weather permitted it. I had one pair of threadbare jeans I thought of as my "work pants." They got washed every weekend whether they needed it or not. "Fair enough."

"And you always wear the same shoes."

By now, I was starting to feel a little defensive. I had several pairs of shoes I wore to school, but I had to admit that I'd gone with the same old (mostly) waterproof boots during the preceding long, wet winter. "I don't always wear the same shoes. I just mostly wear the same shoes."

"You don't even change your hairstyle."

"It gets longer and shorter, but yes, you're right about that."

Up to this point he had taken the posture of an earnest prosecutor, laying out the bare facts as if from notes. I appreciated his honestly and was flattered that he had apparently given my appearance a good deal of thought, even as I wasn't exactly thrilled with the portrait he was painting of me. But now he smiled as he came to the conclusion toward which he had been working, "You never change."

In a flash I recognized that while I do change, while I do continue to grow, in this boy's eyes I am a man upon whom one can rely day after day, a man that he saw as solid, predictable, stable, and safe, like my father had been for me. That isn't the kind of man I have always been. I liked what I saw in this unexpected reflection of myself. I said, "Thank you for telling me that."

"You're welcome."

******

 

"I recommend these books to everyone concerned with children and the future of humanity." ~Peter Gray, Ph.D. If you want to see what Dr. Gray is talking about you can find Teacher Tom's First Book and Teacher Tom's Second Book right here. 

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