If you really want a smart and happy kid, watch him. Just hang out while she's doing whatever it is she's doing.
Try to not ask questions unless you're genuinely curious. Try to not praise unless you're genuinely impressed. Try to not boss him around. When your agenda conflicts with hers, try to understand when she behaves as if there is a conflict.
Try to not even talk unless you have something urgent or informative or heartfelt or very funny to say.
If you don't know the answer, be brave enough to say, "I don't know." If you don't want to answer, say, "I need to think about that," because that's what you're going to be doing right up until you inevitably do answer.
Touch him a lot. Pick her up when she needs it, but otherwise let her stand on her own feet.
When he gets hurt, you'll know what to do; that's the easy part of parenting. The hardest part is letting her just be smart and happy.
This is all good practice for a lifetime as a parent, especially when they're all grown up. The best of it is to love them, to watch them, and to be there because they still need you even if you're not doing anything at all.
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Love this. Thank you, Tom.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Your posts make my heart sing and the inner child in me does a joy-filled happy dance thinking of how many young lives are better because of you and all the parents your words reach. Thank you! Thankyou! Thankyou!
ReplyDeleteHi Tom!
ReplyDeleteI'm Johanna Logan, a student a the University of South Alabama studying to become a Elementary teacher.
I thoroughly enoyed reading your post. I loved when you said "If you don't know the answer, be brave enough to say, "I don't know." If you don't want to answer, say, "I need to think about that," because that's what you're going to be doing right up until you inevitably do answer."
Parents try so hard to be the "right" parent instead of just naturally being a parent. It's okay not to know everything.
Thank you for posting, I look forward to reading more.
If you ever have a chance, take a look at my blog.
Johanna's Blog