Teaching and learning from preschoolers
Good for you Teacher Tom. Sometimes it's really hard to hear the feelings and intent behind the tears. We want kids to be emotionally ready to handle this world, but we get distracted with quick fixes.
It disappoints me when I see educators trying to jolly children out of their grief. When I feel sad, I need to just feel it, cry and let it out, then I'm ok again. I don't see how I can expect any greater 'self control' from any other human, let alone a child. It's challenging to really listen to what they're saying to us sometimes, through their garbled emotionally-charged toddler-speak. And sometimes they can be rather furious at how slow on the uptake we adults can be. I enjoy the challenge of learning each child's unique dialect, they bear similarities to each other, but each language is distinctly different. So much beauty in the diversity of the world, and such a gift that we get to share the beauties each child carries in with them
This post made me further reflect on my own situation. I work night shift and my 11 month old daughter gets so upset when I leave at 6pm just before her bedtime. I feel strongly that I need to say goodbye to her. That she needs to see me leave and know that I have gone to work. It doesn't feel right to sneak out. I don't want her internalizing anxiety. But she cries so hard and my husband and I both get upset. It only lasts a few minutes after I leave and she will start playing some more or go off to bed with dad. But I can't help but wonder if it's better to say goodbye and have my husband re-assure her that mommy always comes back...or if I should sneak away. When I sneak away she seems to not be bothered at all...but I can't help but wonder if she just isn't expressing her stress over it?
Dreamery - maybe you've tried preparing her earlier in the day for the routine for the evening? Janet Lansbury goes into some great detail about how to do that when anticipating a challenging transition. And Languageoflistening.com also has some great stuff on acknowledging feelings and working through them. Wishing you the best!
Thank you for this reminder as we work hard to support our kids through big emotions.