tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post2004897699634073935..comments2024-03-26T07:07:14.304-07:00Comments on Teacher Tom: Fighting Back TearsTeacher Tomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14606781724784785338noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-88530618307774813512011-09-20T21:31:07.970-07:002011-09-20T21:31:07.970-07:00I'm fighting back tears now, too. Thanks for s...I'm fighting back tears now, too. Thanks for sharing this!Lauren Waynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07500733577920040395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-47994315791171274392011-02-02T05:24:40.873-08:002011-02-02T05:24:40.873-08:00How wonderful! I'm going to try the complimen...How wonderful! I'm going to try the compliment chain at with my family at dinner tonight. And I love "you are very powerful!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-89558898342593844292011-02-02T04:09:30.253-08:002011-02-02T04:09:30.253-08:00This is wonderful and unique! Not every teacher t...This is wonderful and unique! Not every teacher takes the time to role play social skills and kindness this way. Even if it is prompted, the compliments serve as a vessel for eye contact and practices of empathy. Yay for teacher Tom!Jessie, The Education Of Ourshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18200667559507237082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-43502973502184809372011-02-01T19:05:39.639-08:002011-02-01T19:05:39.639-08:00I've enjoyed your post and the discussion in t...I've enjoyed your post and the discussion in the comments! These are great ideas for the 100 Acts of Kindness Project I'm encouraging at my blog right now. I featured your post at the Living Montessori Now Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/LivingMontessoriNowDeb Chitwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16665549481411417908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-23208446046390132942011-02-01T16:46:41.901-08:002011-02-01T16:46:41.901-08:00Teacher Tom, this was just the post I needed to re...Teacher Tom, this was just the post I needed to read. I totally needed a pep talk after the last few days, there's been a lot of verbal mud slinging happening...and it's totally called me to question myself as a teacher. I thought we focused a great deal on building community - through our daily rituals, interactions, books, and yes a few of "the talks." I definitely left school today with a lot of questions. Thank you for the inspiration...I hope one day soon I'm moved to tear (and not because I got mud in my eye) :)miss merrilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10489812919591750297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-37531431004001921832011-02-01T13:20:42.092-08:002011-02-01T13:20:42.092-08:00Juliet and FP-
Thanks for weighing in. I was pro...Juliet and FP-<br /><br />Thanks for weighing in. I was probably thinking about it too much from the teacher's perspective. If I am saying to children, "I like your shoes," I risk offering insincere and ultimately meaningless affirmation. For the children complimenting each other, I better understand this process. Ideally, they will offer something more meaningful, but understanding the value of taking the time to make someone feel better is important in a different way. I'll have to think if there is a similar way to incorporate this into my program. I like the process I use now, but am always looking for ways to improve. To the extent that you can (probably harder to do with kids any younger than mine, at 4/5), I would encourage the children to offer compliments that got more to the heart of it. They probably can't or won't always go that way, but modeling more deeper connections can't hurt.<br /><br />FWIW, my method was informed (but not a part of) the Responsive Classroom method. They have a lot in their on descriptive praise, which is really helpful in thinking about how adults talk to children about them, their work, efforts, qualities, etc.<br /><br />Thanks!BSKnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-79010250808828992922011-02-01T11:42:10.822-08:002011-02-01T11:42:10.822-08:00We use a social emotional skills curriculum called...We use a social emotional skills curriculum called PATHS in which we give compliments every day. Initially, exchanging complimetns is difficult for them, but their understanding increases over the course of the year. I think teaching this skill and practicing it is valuable because it develops their prosocial skills and encourages them to support and respect each other, much as the previous poster said. Yes, sometimes they all say the same thing, but at least they are thinking about another person and hearing all those compliments cannot help but increase the child's self esteem!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-77813514415230398802011-02-01T10:27:54.289-08:002011-02-01T10:27:54.289-08:00BSK - this is such a good and pertinent question.
...BSK - this is such a good and pertinent question.<br /><br />I think there is a risk of inappropriate praise which "dumbs down" the value of a well-deserved compliment. I have concerns about cultures where kids are given stickers just for "being themselves".<br /><br />However in my experience, children need to be taught and encouraged to give praise. This works best by modelling. <br /><br />I do team challenge work with older children and make them focus on Sweet PEAS (Praise, Encouragement, Appreciation - Sincerely). At first the children are unsure and feel uncomfortable using Sweet Peas. Then sudddenly it's like a dam breaking...one person give a genuine bit of praise, there's a silence and then everyone "gets" that not only is this OK but it's a good thing and real praise grows and so do the children.Juliet Robertsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07035975039896986525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-21555995978795010212011-02-01T09:27:52.066-08:002011-02-01T09:27:52.066-08:00@ bsk re: "Do you worry that this encourages ...@ bsk re: "Do you worry that this encourages artificialness in the compliments?"<br /><br />My daughter is in Teacher Tom's class. And yes, we have days when every kid gives exactly the same compliment. "I like your shirt" over and over again, etc. And you know there's nothing that remarkable about the shirts themselves. In that sense, yes, it can be compliments for compliments' sake. But that doesn't make it any less sincere.<br /><br />The <i>process</i> is what's sincere. A child sits there at circle time, thinking about what songs <i>he</i> wants to sing or what story <i>he</i> wants. But when we do compliments, it's time to think about someone else. You see the children looking around the rug, looking outside themselves at their classmates, thinking of someone else to draw in. <br /><br />It's a very exciting process for the children. They just <i>smile</i> their little cheeks off. And even if a child is the tenth one to hear "I like your shoes!" he smiles just as big as the first child to hear it. Because everyone knows it's not really about the shoes.Floor Piehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06533240227865369012noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-76090113328012827692011-02-01T07:55:11.673-08:002011-02-01T07:55:11.673-08:00Tom-
Do you worry that this encourages artificial...Tom-<br /><br />Do you worry that this encourages artificialness in the compliments? I have a similar compliment routine, but I ask the kids to focus on actions on why those actions were helpful. I start by modeling it myself, offering compliments such as, "When Joey spilled his milk, Sally helped him wipe it up. That showed she was paying attention to her friend and the teamwork helped the spill get cleaned up quickly so everyone could get back to working and playing." I write them on little notecards and share them at the end of the day, allowing the child receiving it to take it home. They really cherish it and it helps encourage the same behaviors in others. Now the kids share compliments of the same ilk.<br /><br />There is no doubt that making someone feel good is important, but doesn't relying on external characteristics overstate the importance of these characteristics? I'm curious to hear your thoughts. Thanks!BSKnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-16031927168098790252011-02-01T07:00:37.540-08:002011-02-01T07:00:37.540-08:00Another preschool teacher here.... I am stealing ...Another preschool teacher here.... I am stealing the compliment chain idea. I have those plastic links that don't really get played with much, perfect use for them. And way to go on your empathy lessons! I think you are breaking through. :)Staceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10426121453490999195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15932919.post-87492060790982566812011-02-01T06:32:57.281-08:002011-02-01T06:32:57.281-08:00Awe.... this is beautiful... :)
Now I'm fighti...Awe.... this is beautiful... :)<br />Now I'm fighting back tears.<br />This gives me hope. :)<br />Thank you, teacher Tom.Sayahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07696043555939052042noreply@blogger.com